If you liked Excite Bike, then you’ll probably want to buy it on the Wii’s Virtual Console. If you like Excite Truck, then there might be something wrong with you. Thanks to some of the most unresponsive controls ever seen, you’ll be driving your jet engine truck into trees and off the course more often than not. If your goal in life is to buy tech demos for newfangled machines in order to impress colleagues then Excite Truck may be on your list of things to buy. But if you’re an actual consumer who buys games for fun and lasting gameplay then you should steer clear.

You hold the Wiimote sideways while driving. Tilt it left and right to steer, tilt it forward and backward to tip your truck back and forth, and use the face buttons to accelerate and turbo boost. While this may sound great, it doesn’t respond immediately ever. You’ll constantly feel like you have little if any control over your hastily built rocket truck. When you do have some kind of control the whole idea is to fly through the air with the greatest of ease in order to fill boost. Then you boost on the ground to get back up in the air and do things all over again and again and again.

In classic Nintendo racer style you go through circuits of races with a few races in each. You earn stuff when placing in each race which then determines if you move on to the next race. Getting a regular ranking to progress is easy and getting a perfect rank to open up unlocked difficulties is harder than Ron Jeremy in heat. But really what’s the damn point when the tracks are so uninspired. If you want something else to do on these tracks there are things like jumping through hoops and crap like that but it’s boring stuff.